Wow, it's been a LONG time since I've posted.  Eleven days, to be exact.  Definitely the longest gap since I started writing.  I haven't much been in the mood to write, as I'm dealing with some personal mood struggles...and having a hard time finding the positives right now.  I'll pull out, as I always do, but...have been in a rut, so chose not to write.

1. I took an Infant CPR class a few weeks back.  It also included child as well as some adult instruction.  If you're having a child, or have a child, I highly recommend you take such a course!  Even if you've taken CPR in the past (I have), I still recommend the refresh.  Many things have changed in the last few years, and the refresher was surprisingly useful to me.
2. ...so WHY did a single guy with no children take an Infant CPR class?  My God-Daughter was born on 8/10!  Whoo!  She a beautiful baby...in fact, I even asked the father a couple hours after birth (and having stared at this little bundle of happiness for another two hours), "Aren't babies supposed to be ugly?"  This one, nope.  I'm not being biased, either!  This, by the way, is the one shining star in my happiness struggles.
3. This...is really cool:  Pilobolus
4. I got my iPhone a week ago...my first Twitter from the phone was: "Typpng this from my new iPhone. Where!"  My second Twitter from the phone was, "...and by "Typpng" I mean "Typing", and by "Where!" I mean "Wheee!". This will take some getting used to..."  Yes, typing is a treat when you're used to a physical keyboard.  However, I'm definitely getting used to it.  The phone does have some bizarre quirks, but, I'll get over it.  Anyone know how to SNOOZE a Calendar reminder?  Wow do I miss this feature.  Regardless, so far I really enjoy the phone...
5. Went to Denver for business this week...not that exciting, no time to really play.  Oh, and we went to a Rock Bottom for dinner.  Meh, we have those here!  <grin>
6. I spent a good few hours purging crap from my house, and into boxes...to be later purged from my existence.  I was shocked to see how many things from my marriage were still in random unused drawers...some of which were even out in the open.  I guess I just stopped noticing them?  Kinda like driving the same path to work every day, you stop seeing what's around you and one day say to yourself, "Where the hell did that building come from?"  Or, in this case, "What the hell is my wedding right doing RIGHT THERE?"
7. I stopped my 100 Pushups Challenge.  I appear to have given myself a substantial shoulder injury somewhere during the first week.  No idea how it happened, it just did.  I've been away from it for a few weeks now (workouts in general) and it still hurts.  Really bums me out, was enjoying the challenge.  So, if it doesn't clear itself up soon I'll likely have to get it checked out.
8. Hoping to see RunnerGirl this weekend...but we'll see what happens.
9. Camtasia is a pretty cool application.  Spent about 12 quality hours with it last week to build a demonstration for my company.  My brain was tired afterwards, but the next time around will certainly be easier.
10. Gotta pick up the pooch today.  Mom and Dad have had her since I left for Travel Monday.  It's actually nice having a little break from my "child".  <chuckle>

Cheers!

Flags.  We see them in many colors...sometimes red, sometimes yellow, sometimes green.  Much like the traffic signals they emulate, they symbolize whether or not we should stop, proceed with caution, or full-on go for it.  Flags are seen in parallel with any number of interactions with people, places, or things.  Flags have a thing for nouns it seems.

Where have I seen the most flags lately?  Work, and girls I've been dating.  Work's got red flags all over it, and has for some time...but I'm not writing about that today.  I'm writing about dating, in particular, a single datee (yes, she's the "date-ee").  That makes me the dater.  Unless, of course, your perspective is from her eyes...then you have to get Einstien's theories involved and that's sometimes just a buzz kill.  Thankfully, the only eyes you have access to are mine...so we won't have to bother Albert.

After my nice night with RunnerGirl I decided to take stock in the flags I've been noticing and focus a little on them.  RunnerGirl had a birthday the weekend after my previously linked visit.  I bought her a book we discussed that evening, it was delivered early.  Bought her flowers and had them delivered on her birthday.  That day I also left her a voicemail, and believe it or not, I sang Happy Birthday to her (like a dork, of course).  The point?  Despite my yellow-to-red flag of distance, I've kept a very open mind and am making an effort...despite any hesitations I might have.

One of the other flags I've been noticing is somewhat in regards to effort.  We don't know each other that well, have only been out a few times, and there's distance...but I can't help but feel I'm putting most of the effort in to initiate.  So, as of last week, I stopped communicating in order to see if she'd take the lead.  As I was sitting in front of the tube re-watching a movie to kill time, I thought to myself that it's unfortunate it's been about 5 days since we last communicated.  Within 15 minutes, I got a text from her.  Whenever we she does initiate, I'm sure to let her know I'm very glad she did (i.e. I said that I had just been thinking about her in my reply).  We had a short but sweet textversation.  Yet, I still feel a little empty.  I guess I'd like her to initiate the next "we should get together" conversation...it's been two weeks since we last hung out.  Of course, the next time should probably be down my way...which means I have to clean.  Damn.

The reality is, I think she probably has the same hesitations I do and she's just being cautious.  Certainly can't blame her, now can I?  So...I'll continue to enjoy our time when we have it...and try not to have any expectations. 

I've learned over the years to trust my flags...implicitly.  When I choose not to trust them, I end up kicking myself later...usually pretty hard.  My flags are my co-pilot, and while I don't always listen to my sidekick for each individual turn, the GPS is usually smart enough to re-route me back to the correct destination.

RunnerGirl, thankfully, has a long way before my GPS will kick in with it's annoying (yet oddly comforting), "turn missed, re-routing".

Another episode of nothing in particular:

1. Week one of my 100 Pushups Challenge wasn't too bad at all, but I have a feeling this is really just the tip of the iceberg...this will get progressively difficult, I hope I can keep up.  Felt a bit of shoulder pain in my left shoulder today...been working pretty hard all week though (doing my regular workout right after the pushup workout).  Have had to do some of the pushups military-style (fist down instead of palm down) all week due to left wrist pain.  I must be old or something (at least the left side of me)!  Ha.  Will be nice to give everything a couple days break until next Monday!
2. I haven't been Twittering much the past couple weeks...
3. I haven't been doing the on-line dating thing AT ALL the past month (or so).  It's nearly a full-time job finding the right women, 'eh?  So, I've stepped away to catch my breath a bit.
4. I still don't have an iPhone...and it's not from lack of trying.  Maybe something's trying to tell me something.
5. I don't have a lot of "plans" for this weekend, and I'm fairly happy about that.  Although, I'm sure things will pop up.  Not to mention all the stuff I *need* to be doing this weekend...maybe I'll get productive on something's ass!  Wow.  That really doesn't read like I heard it in my head.  Pfssthbb!
6. Went on a great motorcycle ride after work today.  Found a state park less than 10 minutes from my house I never knew was there.  Looks like a great place to hike with the dog, or even do a little bouldering.  I'm really excited about the find!  Might even sneak away sometime this weekend to give it a go with the pooch.
7. SQL Injection is a PITA to combat.  If you don't know, you don't want to know.  <grin>
8. Speaking of the iPhone, I'm getting used to using iTunes...because, well, I need to start getting used to it if I'm getting an iPhone.  I'm having two issues.  One, iTunes doesn't see 1000 of my 6500 songs.  No idea why, it just doesn't think they exist.  But oh, yes they do.  So I have to figure that mess out.  Two, my rankings aren't showing up.  See, I use rankings to organize my playlists...it's the easiest way for me to get the good stuff and filter out the crap I really don't want to hear most of the time.  Unfortunately (but expected, I suppose), Windows Media Player rankings don't show up in iTunes.  Vice versa...  MP3 tagging doesn't have a good standard for this, for some lame reason.  So, I have to manually go and look at Windows Media Player ranks and click the same ranks in iTunes.  What a PAIN!  If anyone knows any software that can do this for me, I'll buy you stuff.  Seriously.  Sexual favors?  Whatever.  I'm open to suggestion!  <laugh>  The only positive is that I haven't fully ranked my entire collection yet.  <wipes brow>  Phew.
9. My parents bought a new computer.  I have to set it up so their email and photos show up.  Tech support is fun!  Oh yeah, my parents...who don't use computers very much and really only use theirs for email, photos, their Netflix queue (and maybe the occasional website or two) have a computer that's WAY more powerful than anything I have at home...and I'm the geek.  WTF?
10. I am ANXIOUSLY awaiting the birth of my Godchild.  8/4 is the due date, but we're all hoping for an 8/8/8 baby.  <smile>

That is all...

This is an odd one...

Ever since my divorce I seem to be a little more, shall we say, emotionally charged...challenged...soft...wussified.  I can't figure it out.  Stupid crap can set me off too.  It's almost like the stress of the divorce permanently jiggled my wiring and now I react differently to things like that.  I'm certainly over my Knife, there's no doubt about that.  So, that leads me to believe there is one of two things going on:

1)  I'm not over the loss of what could have been (good marriage, children, next phase in life)
2)  I've been somehow permanently scarred in my brain from that...woman...and the divorce.

For the record, we decided to split on 12/31/06 (over 1.5 years ago!) and the divorce was final in November of 2007 (3/4 of a year ago). 

Is this normal?  Do other people go through these similar "permanent changes" in emotions?  I'm not totally blind to what's going on, mind you...I can see that a show on the tube about some Dad and his kid in a moment sets me off.  I get it.  It's typically some kind of family-related situation, but not always...sometimes it's nonsense on a commercial. 

I feel I can empathise with PMS because of these little moments!

The bottom line is that I'm somewhat, but not entirely, irritated by this.  Frankly, I wasn't surprised about it a year ago.  Now that it's still rearing it's head...I'm wondering what's up.  I'm quite in touch with my girly side and am certainly confident in my manhood...but WTF?  Knock it off already, brain.

I'm reading QTMama's blog on The Fine Art of Spooning a few minutes ago and realized that her and I had idential endings to our Saturday night.  I planned on writing about my 3rd date with RunnerGirl this week, but this entertaining coincidence has sped up the process.  <chuckle>

I drive up to Manhattan Beach (near LA) to visit my new friend for the evening.  It's a third date and we haven't seen each other in a few weeks (month, actually) because she was in Africa for two weeks and we were just too busy otherwise.  So, our introductions are still a little awkward.  I went for the kiss, she didn't, we kissed half-way and laughed about it somewhat sheepishly.  Haha.  Pretty funny, actually.

After chatting at her place for a bit we walked down to the beach...and I was immediately in heaven.  There are times when my own occasional simplicity even amazes me.  One, I'm with a beautiful girl that I find quite interesting.  Two, I'm surrounded by more volleyball nets than I can count!  Holy crap.  If you've ever been there, you know what I mean.  If you haven't, you simply won't understand until you see it.  They did not end...in either direction.  Wow...  <smacks self back into reality>

We hung out at the beach for a while chatting and learned that we hate the same three foods:  Coconut, ginger, and black licorice (anise, whatever other similar flavors).  Beautiful.  She also dislikes ketchup and loves mustard and pepper!  Remember that heaven thing I talked about a few seconds ago?  I just had a short relapse.

Ok...so we then decided it was time to get some red wine and food in us, so we walked up the hill to a local pub.  Out of the entire menu, we chose the same meal.  <laughing>  This food thing is a bit funny...  Had some great food, some better wine, and a cool local band played some fun cover tunes for a while.  We were there for a couple hours then headed back to her place.

I won't go into the details...  <wink>  ...but I had no intentions of staying the night.  Was going to go home, let the pooch out to do her business, and sleep at home.  But, it was late...I had some wine in me...and we agreed it was best if I stayed the night.  I wasn't complaining.  Sex was not on the menu for me...not sure if it was for her, but that's not important really.  I like this girl, she's a friend of a friend, and I'm just not looking at things that way.  For those uninitiated, that's not (always) my modus operandi.  <chuckle>

We kissed...a lot.  We fondled...a good bit.  Then we slept.  Spooned, nooked, whatever.  My QTMama, 2342 miles away, had the exact same experience on the exact same night and I think that's amazing.  Something I think we were both very much in need of...and it couldn't have happened to two nicer people, damnit!  Haha.

Thankfully the pooch, who spent her first night (in 5+ years) alone at home with no one else, managed to hold it all in for the 20 hours I was gone.  Good girrrrrrl!  <grin> 

I found it amusing that yesterday at around 10:30am it dawned on me that I missed my ex-wedding anniversary.  Don't worry...I only know what time it happened because I Twittered it when it occurred.  <grin>

The funny thing, is that the anniversary was a month ago.  The day passed, and I didn't notice.  The week passed, and I didn't notice.  Hell, an entire month passed and it didn't even dawn on me until yesterday.

Cheers to me, further validation that the whole mess is history and nothing more.  <pats self on back>

Oh yeah, I have a date with RunnerGirl this Saturday...making the trek up to her this time.  She's back from her weekend in New York and two-week African excursion, haven't seen her in a month or so.  Looking forward to it!

I've decided to take the One Hundred Pushups challenge!  While I've been incredibly fit this year (averaging anywhere from 4-5 times per week, weights and cardio), I slacked off last week and have felt pretty bad about it.  I stumbled onto this program, and figured that'd help me get kick-started again!

I will take my initial test this week (7/16-7/18 sometime) and will begin my program next Monday (7/12/2008). 

I'll be tracking my entire progress publically here, so no excuses for me!  <grin>

I found this incredibly hot 37 year old on one of my dating sites a couple weeks back.  By incredibly hot, I mean...incredibly hot.  The body of a super fit 21 year old...easy...EASY.  This girl has done a ton of swimsuit modeling, has published health and fitness books, is quite intelligent, and seemed to have her stuff together.  She's VERY health conscious...and by very health conscious, I mean...very health conscious!

So, I wrote her.  I felt the need to explain that I was a healthy person and discussed my diet a bit (because, frankly, I eat very well).  I got a response back from here that was pretty entertaining.  It was quite long, actually, and discussed the negatives of just about every type of food that wasn't a raw vegetable (really...it wasn't THAT bad, but it was very close).  I laughed at it, because I know my diet is better than 95%-98% of the worlds population.  She's obviously in a completely different category, however.  More power to her...but wow.

Her hotness made me want to look past this obsessive nature of her food intake, but I couldn't do that...so I laid out a little reality.  It was a lengthy response...but I pretty much said (and I'm nutshelling a lot) that if you expect me (or anyone for that matter) to live up to those types of expectations, I'm not your guy.  If you expect me to someday get there...then *maybe*.  If you're expecting me to constantly better myself and always strive to be healthy, than yeah...I'm that guy.  As stated, this was book-ended by a lot of other logical arguments (in my favor, of course!)  The final tune was essentially, if you're going to be constantly disappointed when I "cheat" (by your standards, even though that's still better than the rest of the planet) you're doing nothing but setting me and us up for failure

The result?  She said I wrote very well and wanted to know if I was interested in meeting up some time.  Chalk another one up for honesty!

We met.  We talked.  It was nice.  That's about it.  She's a nice person and certainly a cutie, but we both agreed there wasn't much there from a chemistry perspective...and we went our separate ways.  Funny story though!

<singing>  "I gaahht no moh-ti-vayy-shun.  Whheeerrrre is...my moh-ti-vayy-shun..."  (thank-you, Green Day)

The garage project is overwhelming.  My living areas are suddenly cluttered.  There's dog fur everywhere (even after I sweep).  My yard is a total disaster, sprinklers are broken, weeds are everywhere, the dogs have thrashed the grass.  What do I do about it?  I go ride the motorcycle and forget.  Haha.

I need help.  Can't seem to get my ass in gear.

I got a private beta invite to Dropbox, a very cool file sync application that works on PC, Mac, Linux, web...  Essentially, you can drop files into your DropBox folder on one computer and they'll magically show up on your other systems (or even the web).  You can share them out so people can view them on-line (i.e. you want to show friends a few photos).  It's incredibly easy to use!

For example, here's a link to one of my Dropbox image galleries.  I simply put images into a folder, right-clicked on the folder to get the public link, and pasted it here.  Silly easy.
Click here for: Sample Dropbox Image Gallery

I've got a few invites I can pass out to folks, so if you're interested...shoot me your email address and I'll make sure you get an invite to use it!

Cheers,
AL